LET ME TELL SOMETHING ABOUT YOU

When was the last time you felt that you deserved to be happy, successful, or loved?

Everyone has felt this way at some point in their lives. I would like to know why you believe you deserve it. What makes you a deserving candidate?How would you respond?

You might say "Because I am a good person" as an explanation. I have to be honest with you: what you just said makes no sense.

Did that sound rude to you? Here's what I mean.

You are entitled

What exactly is entitlement?

Simply put, entitlement is the belief that someone deserves special treatment or recognition for something they didn’t earn.  An entitled person is someone who believes that the world owes them without ever giving anything in return.

Think about it for a moment. Are there any possible causes for this entitlement?

We were all born into well-off families. The lives we lead today are comfortable. From birth, we have been given everything we need. There were some of us who received everything they asked for. What have you done to deserve all that has been given to you? Is there any way you earned all of it? Everything was given to you without asking for anything in return. Typically, parents do this so that their children will lead an easier life than they did for themselves.

People grow up believing that this is the way life works. In life, we are rarely told that we must earn things. 

LOVE

Does love have to be earned?

Without a doubt!

We believe we are deserving of love. Everybody wants a great movie-type love. Such a belief is fairly common. However, love is not something you receive without giving back. That's devotion if you are. Don't mistake devotion for love.  There are some people who devote their love, attention, and everything to others. People like these don't let others earn things themselves. When you fill the void on behalf of the other person, you are not letting the other person make any effort to be with you.

It is important to earn love and let it be earned.

RESPECT

Respect isn't something you can demand. "Give respect and take respect" is a common saying we've all heard. The statement is partially flawed. Respect doesn't come from giving it. It is true that people may choose to be generous when you are respectful. It's not the same as respecting you. You don't give your respect to another person just because they are respectful to you. Respect is earned. Earn the respect of the other person, and let the other person earn your respect.

"Elders should be respected". It's likely that someone has told you this. You could try asking them why. Usually, they will say something like "because they are older than you". Is age a factor that gives you respect? It is likely that all of us have seen few elders who do not deserve respect. Do we need to respect them as well? We have used the wrong word here. A person who says "respect elders" means to be kind to them, to be generous to them 

Kindness applies to everyone around us. RESPECT, however, must be earned no matter who the other person is or what he/she has accomplished.

HAPPINESS

Can you tell me what makes you worthy of a happy life?

Happiness is a choice you make & skill you can teach yourself. Joy is different. You may tell yourself "I'll be happy when I accomplish this". This is called feeling joy, which is different from being happy. 

HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP

Being a healthy partner leads to a healthy relationship. It's that simple, but we seldom realize it. 

Apart from this, entitlement may be a part of a personality disorder ( eg: narcissistic personality disorder, antisocial personality disorder ). Research says that emerging adults are more entitled than the rest of the adult lifespan.

Other reasons for entitlement include:

1. As a child, you were praised for things you hadn't achieved.

2. As a child, you were ignored, and now you expect others to recognize and praise you.

How we can combat entitlement:

1. Take a moment to think from the viewpoint of another person.

2. Don't be afraid to celebrate other people's successes even when you feel like you've failed.

3. Avoid comparing yourself with others.

4. Volunteer if possible.

5. Seek therapy if needed.

6. And most importantly be kind to yourself.

( Postscript : I combined my thoughts with research to come up with this blog.

 Please feel free to disagree with my views in the comments section )

Resources:

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Amulya.

Do you think you're imperfect? That’s perfect!

Has anyone ever told you that you're perfect just as you are?
Then you have been told lies & misled.

I've noticed this everywhere lately. People are told they are perfect just the way they are. Although this is a nice thing to say, it does have some negative consequences as well. Saying such things can be helpful if someone has low self-esteem or feels inadequate. But, people are blindly believing what they have been told. There is a tendency for them to become self-centered and in the worst cases, narcissistic. This type of affirmations prevent one from recognizing their mistakes. Self-improvement begins with acknowledgment. When people begin to consider the possibility that they could be wrong, bad at something or imperfect, it will help. Imperfections are opportunities for growth, after all.